By David Dent
If the setting of Abigail resembles that of the 2019 comedy horror Ready or Not – an ancient house with all of its nooks and crannies utilised in a series of frantic chase sequences – it might have something to do with both films sharing the same directors and emanating from the successful Radio Silence company (who also gave us the fifth and sixth Scream instalments).
Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett’s old dark house romp also shares something of the former movie’s sense of anarchy, but where Ready or Not benefitted from Samara Weaving’s standout performance and a refreshing sense of playfulness, Abigail brings the same elements but, sadly, without the charm.
Ballet dancing Abigail (Alisha Weir, who members of the audience I was with correctly identified as the star of 2022’s Matilda: The Musical) is kidnapped by a disparate group of rogues; their aim is to extract a hefty ransom from their captor’s wealthy underworld father. In a slightly awkward narrative turn, the group are asked to hole up in an old world house for 24 hours, closely guarding the girl, until the $50 million ransom is paid.
But all is not as it seems (as anyone who has seen the spoiler-soaked trailer will attest). Far from being an innocent little girl, Abigail is in fact a vampire! As the kidnappers are about to find out when one of their number, empathetic mother-trying-to-do-the-right-thing-by-her-kid Joey (Melissa Barrera, Scream VI) removes the restraints on their young charge.
What follows is an hour plus of relentless charging about, peppered with some gory set pieces. The cast are all game (very sad, and more than a tad ironic, to see the late Angus Cloud cast as drugged up gang member Dean in his last screen role) and the whole thing looks great, but the script can’t decide how humorous it wants to be (it isn’t, sadly) and despite each of the kidnappers having their back story fleshed out within an awful lot of unneeded exposition, it’s difficult to identify with – and thus care about – any of the cast.
An energetic misfire then.
Abigail is available now in cinemas.
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