By David Dent
James Dean’s latest movie is a sort of porno/horror mashup. But disabuse yourself that this could in any way be compared to Ti West’s X (2022); this is far more cheap and cheerful, but certainly not without its appeal.
Santa Claus aka Saint Nick (Drew Marvick) is kicking back before the big day, comping on milk and cookies and watching a rerun of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. But attentive Mrs Claus (Lindsay Washburn) has a secret which, when hubby finds out, is about to send him loco.
Elsewhere porno bigwig Johnny Duckett (Chris Ruppert) is assembling cast members for his latest shoot, an ambitious full feature Christmas porno horror. His stars Kristy Kreme (Morrigan Thompson), Black Mamba (Jonathan May), Jack Rabbit (Shaun Scott) and Angel Luv (Kaity Navi McAllister) are either cynical about Duckett’s ambitions, or see it as just another job, but they’re all incensed to learn that the producer is none other than accused sexual abuser Atilla the Hung (Kyle Shute) with his new lady Lana Luscious (the ubiquitous Felissa Rose).
But things are about to become rather heated on set; a rampaging Santa has picked off a series of party guests who are employees of Duckett, and is making his way to the set to find out who has been naughty or nice (clue – it’s a porn shoot).
Dean’s cast comprise a mix of ‘straight’ actors and porn stars, and it’s to everyone’s credit that it’s difficult to tell who’s who here. “I’m SAG ’til the end of the year” gripes Angel, until Duckett promises to fix the paperwork, and the script is full of little asides that overcome the rather pedestrian pace.
But you’ll come to this for the practical gore effects, which are, for the estimated $85,000 budget, pretty amazing, courtesy of Wesley Curtis and Deryk Wehrley. Highlights include a head squeezed until it pops, a zombie elf who bites off a male member, knifings, deaths by candy cane and boiling water. Yeah there’s some sauce too – all round this is a really well put together low budget seasonal slasher.
Bloody Flicks 